November 10 -- Much has been written about the Obamas' marriage.
The president and first lady have attested to the long and hard work
it takes to stay involved and connected to each other while maintaining
their separate identities.
The problem is that, today, too few couples are willing to make such
a commitment. Ever since California became the first state to sanction
no-fault divorce law 40 years ago, with every state in essence following
suit -- some with certain stipulations -- the most fundamental thread
in the fabric of our American values, the institution of marriage,
has been unraveling.
a child grows up, the guideposts should be: finish school; become
a productive citizen; marry a person you want to spend your life with;
and, if you want, have children. In that order.
What our society needs is a solution on the front end.
Let's stop glorifying single parenthood ...
unwed parents like "Brangelina," Halle Berry and the late
Michael Jackson make matrimony seem unimportant and suggest that having
a baby as a single parent is "cool" and even easy.
young people think that having a child means that they will finally
have someone who will unconditionally love them. They don't consider,
however, that babies do not and cannot love anyone but themselves,
and they also take a tremendous amount of time, attention and resources.
you decide to have a child alone in order to fulfill your deep need
to parent, you may be deliberately substituting your emotional loss
for that of your child, who will have to grow up without a father.
they do right by their families. Boys and girls need their fathers
to love them and to model the sacrifice and commitment that bonds
a married couple. Men who "man up" like this need our support
that allow one party to a marriage to opt out of it too easily.
there are many success stories, children who grow up in single-parent
families are less likely to enjoy the financial security, educational
success and social skills of children living with their married parents.
This only continues to fuel poverty and inequality in our country.
The ideal marriage is a way of life in which a husband and wife compromise
Leah Ward Sears is a retired chief justice of the Georgia Supreme Court and is a partner at the Atlanta office of Schiff Hardin, LLP. Sears also serves as the William Thomas Sears Distinguished Fellow in Family Law at the Institute for American Values and is a visiting professor on family law issues at the University of Georgia School of Law.
Love vs Lust is next.