ABOUT US       CONTACT US       DISCLAIMER       HOME PAGE       FOODS AND VIEWS       SEARCH       UNIVERSITY OF DIVERSITY
   

Welcome to
EqualsHappiness.com

    You need to stay married,                 
if you want to have kids!



By Leah Ward Sears

November 10 -- Much has been written about the Obamas' marriage. The president and first lady have attested to the long and hard work it takes to stay involved and connected to each other while maintaining their separate identities.

Undoubtedly, sustaining a marriage is sometimes hard, as the first lady noted. But the Obamas are an excellent example of how the fruits of marriage can be realized by those who are committed to reconciling their differences and "toughing it out."

The problem is that, today, too few couples are willing to make such a commitment. Ever since California became the first state to sanction no-fault divorce law 40 years ago, with every state in essence following suit -- some with certain stipulations -- the most fundamental thread in the fabric of our American values, the institution of marriage, has been unraveling.

Before I retired from the bench a few months ago, it was my job as a judge to sort through all the issues rising, in part, from the growing lack of reverence many Americans have for marriage. In court, I often saw humanity's worst behavior. I also dealt with teenage mothers, absentee fathers and parents who have never been married, often by choice.

Many Americans are failing their children because they have already failed themselves.

I saw parents who didn't seem able or willing to connect their children's problems with their own failure to provide their children with the necessary road map to self-sufficiency and productivity. And these families didn't just show up in my courtroom. They exist everywhere.

The U.S. Marriage Index shows a dramatic decline in the health of marriage in recent decades. America is a society that requires its citizens to make choices and penalizes them, often harshly, for the wrong ones.

As a child grows up, the guideposts should be: finish school; become a productive citizen; marry a person you want to spend your life with; and, if you want, have children. In that order.

But many Americans are failing their children because they have already failed themselves. They often enter the court system with domestic problems and low-wage jobs, slim educational credentials and no life partners.

It broke my heart to see so many children raising babies before they are ready: young people who made no connection between the poverty and chaos in their lives and the choices they had made.

My options in addressing these problems from the bench were limited. The courtroom is seldom the stage at which social change takes place. By the time these cases appeared in court, so much damage had already been done.

What our society needs is a solution on the front end.
We should begin by considering six points:

Let's stop glorifying single parenthood ...

Celebrity unwed parents like "Brangelina," Halle Berry and the late Michael Jackson make matrimony seem unimportant and suggest that having a baby as a single parent is "cool" and even easy.

Our children need a reality check ...

Many young people think that having a child means that they will finally have someone who will unconditionally love them. They don't consider, however, that babies do not and cannot love anyone but themselves, and they also take a tremendous amount of time, attention and resources.

Memo to single mothers by choice ...

When you decide to have a child alone in order to fulfill your deep need to parent, you may be deliberately substituting your emotional loss for that of your child, who will have to grow up without a father.

We need to respect the role of men as husbands and fathers ...

When they do right by their families. Boys and girls need their fathers to love them and to model the sacrifice and commitment that bonds a married couple. Men who "man up" like this need our support and encouragement.

Our state legislatures should revisit no-fault divorce ...

Laws that allow one party to a marriage to opt out of it too easily.

Change now can result in change in the future ...

Although there are many success stories, children who grow up in single-parent families are less likely to enjoy the financial security, educational success and social skills of children living with their married parents. This only continues to fuel poverty and inequality in our country.

By the way, I'm neither a strait-laced goody-two-shoes nor Archie Bunker in heels. I would never condemn anyone who has had a child out of wedlock or who has gone through a divorce.

I was a divorcee, and with two children, I was also a single mom. So I know that these things happen. Indeed, sometimes they must happen. And because they do, we need to respect every family form.

But I've been around long enough to know that as marriage goes, so go our children. And with them goes the future of our country. Consequently, everyone -- rich or poor, single or married or divorced, gay or straight, all races and colors, from the first family to the single-parent family -- benefits from a vibrant marriage culture.

The ideal marriage is a way of life in which a husband and wife compromise
to face the time and space together for the security of their own
lives and their children's.
-- Yogi Bhajan 1/2/1977

NOTE

Leah Ward Sears is a retired chief justice of the Georgia Supreme Court and is a partner at the Atlanta office of Schiff Hardin, LLP. Sears also serves as the William Thomas Sears Distinguished Fellow in Family Law at the Institute for American Values and is a visiting professor on family law issues at the University of Georgia School of Law.

 


Now you know!

Love vs Lust is next.

        


Helpful Health Hints

                                          

                                                            

                                    

                                  

                                  

                                    

                              


More Web sites by
KhalsaWebMasters.com

SAAAP.org Dieterata.com
HariBird.com HariSingh.com
SopaRice.com SikhSongs.com
SopaSeca.com WaheGuru.guru
UbuntuAge.com NarayanOil.com
LeftOfMaya.com 3HOHistory.com
LivtarSingh.com
WhaHeGuru.com
SikhAnthem.com MySixSense.com
OngKarKaur.com IsolatedSeer.com
BroadPoints.com 13EkOngKar.com
EkOngKar13.com ChardeeKala.com
Obama43To1.com 2020ForEyes.com
HariKaurBird.com SoothingSpa.com
OpticalViews.com DalpremKaur.com
KhalsaVision.com SPIRITofGRD.com
GuruRamDas.com 2020ForSight.com
MahanTantric.com LakeKillarney.com
MySikhSense.com
VaninderKaur.com
BigotDetector.com
HariSinghBird.com
3DDispensing.com
RamDasSingh.com
Interior-Guard.com SikhDharma13.com
OpticalCourse.com BeYourAllness.com
MiriPiriWarrior.com LandOfAwwws.com
SatNamMeans.com SatKartarSingh.com
KaliYugaSigns.com DrRamonIbarra.com
SiriSinghSahib.com HariKaurKhalsa.com
CloseOrderDrill.com 1Plus1Equals11.com
1And1Equals11.com OpticianryToday.com
RamDhanSingh.com WordPhysiology.com
2020ForWomen.com JustAddedWater.com
HangupsByHari.com EyewearMoodys.com
DownWithCarbs.com
HariSinghKhalsa.com
ACTForDiversity.com PreetKaurKhalsa.com
AdiShaktiMantra.com WhiteTantraYoga.com
ScienceOfMudra.com WirelessAndFree.com
ScienceOfMantra.com TheMahanTantric.com
OohRahMemorial.com WhoAreTheSikhs.com
WeProcessLoans.com
OpticianryReview.com
AkalCommittee13.com 2020ForOpticians.com
GurdwaraSecurity.com OpticalGuidelines.com
DiversityDialogues.org GuruGobindSingh.com
AmarSinghKhalsa.com OpticalWorkshops.com
SensitivitySummit.com KirpalSinghKhalsa.com
SurvivalCampUSA.com SimranKaurKhalsa.com
AwtarSinghKhalsa.com SatpalSinghKhalsa.com
KhalsaWebMasters.com SadhanaGuidelines.com
MasculineMoments.com YouAreTheEssence.com
DegTeghFatehYatra.com KundaliniYogapedia.com
AdhocCommittee13.com StFrancisOfficePark.com
HairInLaysTheTruth.com ToTheSweetestMom.com
ToTheSweetestWife.com YogiBhajansTeacher.com
EachMomentIsAGift.com OpticalShiftHappens.com
OpticiansForChange.com AllForOneWonForAll.com
HappinessIsTheRule.com MyInterviewWithGod.com
AtTheFeetOfTheYogi.com DrinkingDrivingDead.com
SameDayCounseling.com ToServeIsToSucceed.com
SiriGuruGranthSahib.com SaTaNaMaMeditation.com
UniversityOfDiversity.com ServingVersusSelling.com
RaMaDaSaMeditation.com SukhmaniKaurKhalsa.com
SiriGuruGranthSahib.guru
LakesideManorOnline.com
ForThePeopleOfColor.com DispensingGuidelines.com
YogiTeaByYogiBhajan.com SecurityAdvisoryTeam.com
CourageousDialogues.com EyeWearProfessionals.com
SatKriyaByYogiBhajan.com ReligionDemographics.com
IfYouKnowWhoYouAre.com TimeForCraftsmanship.com
EyeExaminationOnline.com AkalCommitteeThirteen.com
GlassesOnlineWarning.com FirstSikhOfSikhDharma.com
IDoNotEatDeadAnimals.com HealthEqualsHappiness.com
MoreThanYouCanKnow.com GoodGuysWearTurbans.com
OpticiansForThePeople.com AquarianAgeBeganHere.com
OnsiteFamilyHealthcare.com FirstTeachersAreWomen.com
SantSipahiAdvisoryTeam.com SugarIsAFourLetterWord.com
KirtanKriyaByYogiBhajan.com TheAfterDeathExperience.com
SatHanumanSinghKhalsa.com AdhocCommitteeThirteen.com
TextingAndDrivingIsCrazy.com IAmABornAgainAmerican.com
TheReverseMortgageLady.com OneAndOneEqualsEleven.com
WordsOfWisdomAndHumor.com TestYourKnowledgeOnline.com
CrucifixionByAnEyewitness.com NowYouKnowThatYouKnow.com
GodAndMeMeAndGodAreOne.com LifeAccordingToYogiBhajan.com
ReachOutAndTouchSomebody.com KundaliniYogaByYogiBhajan.com
TheTechnologyOfConsciousness.com IfYourDadDoesntHaveABeard.com
ConsciousCommunicationGuidelines.com EkOngKarSatNamSiriWhaHeGuru.com

Bubba's Metical Turms

Religions Of The World

Friedman On Globalization

How To Make A Man Happy

How A Woman's Brain Works

The Greatest Story Ever Sold

Do You Need To Stay Married

For Men Only: MasculineMoments.com

Outsourcing And The Man Who Changed India

Message of Peace I Desiderata I Desiderata II I Patriotic Photos I Astrology 101

 

 

ABOUT US       CONTACT US       DISCLAIMER       HOME PAGE       FOODS AND VIEWS       SEARCH       UNIVERSITY OF DIVERSITY