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a woman, you must never exploit or live in any kind of
I challenge you to recognize what the world scoffs at, that
Safety Tips For Women*
Last night I attended a personal safety workshop, and it jolted me. It was given by an amazing man, Pat Malone, who has been a bodyguard for famous figures like Farrah Fawcett and Sylvester Stallone. He works for the FBI and teaches police officers and Navy SEALS hand-to-hand combat.
This man has seen it all, and knows a lot. He focused his teachings to us on HOW TO AVOID BEING THE VICTIM OF A VIOLENT CRIME. He gave us some statistics about how much the occurrences of random violence have escalated over the recent years, and it's terrible. Something like 99% of us will be exposed to, or become a victim of a violent crime.
are some of the most important
The five reasons women are easy targets for random acts of violence are:
a) Lack of Awareness - You MUST know where you are and what's going on around you. Be aware of your vulnerabilities and the realities of huMAN nature. BE CONSCIOUS.
b) Body Language - Keep your head up, swing your arms, stand up straight, and look alert. Be aware of your vulnerabilities and the realities of huMAN nature. BE CONSCIOUS.
c) In The Wrong Place, At The Wrong Time, With The Wrong Look - DON'T walk alone in an alley, or drive in a bad neighborhood after dark. Looking sexy is not always in your best interest.
d) Lack of Training and Self-Confidence - Women need to acquire some basic skills in self-defense. And again, don't walk alone in an alley, or drive in a bad neighborhood after dark. Looking sexy is not always in your best interest.
e) There may be a better time and place - Be aware of your environments and vulnerabilities, cause and effect ... what you do, where you do it, and what happens to you ARE interrelated-connected. A predator can be watching you. Be aware of the realities of huMAN nature. BE CONSCIOUS.
BE CONSCIOUS...BE AWARE OF HUMAN NATURE
DON'T LET YOURSELF BECOME A VICTIM
have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,
eating, working, etc., and just sit there doing their
checkbook, making a list, etc.
A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage: Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Many serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or office, and get a guard, friend or policeman to walk you out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (Better paranoid than dead.)
ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and they are the perfect crime spot).
Do not get on an elevator if there is a weirdo already on there. (Of course, bad men don't always look bad).
Do not stand back in the corners of the elevator, be near the front, by the doors, ready to get off or on.
If you get on the elevator on the 25th floor, and the Boogie Man gets on the 22nd, get off when he gets on.
If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!
Police hit their mark only 4 out of 10 shots when they are in range of 3-9 feet. This is due to stress.
The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
It is a woman's nature to be sympathetic: COOL IT! It could get you raped, or killed.
Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Pat Malone told us the story of his daughter, who came out of the mall and was walking to her car when she noticed two older ladies in front of her. Then she saw a police car come towards her with cops who said hello. She also noticed that all 8 handicap spots in the area were empty. As she neared her car she saw a man a few rows over calling to her for help. He wanted her to close his passenger side door. He was sitting in the driver's side back seat, and said he was handicapped. He continued calling, until she turned and headed back to the mall, and then he began cursing at her. In the meantime, she wondered why he didn't ask the two older ladies, or the policeman for help, and why he was not parked in any of the empty handicap spots. As she got back to the mall, two male friends of hers were exiting, and as she told them the story, and turned to point at the car, the man was getting out of the back seat into the front, and the car then sped away. DON'T GET CAUGHT IN THIS TRAP.
Tips to saving your life, if you have gotten into a violent situation:
REACT IMMEDIATELY. If abducted in a parking lot, and you're taken to an abandoned area, DON'T LET HIM GET YOU TO THAT AREA. If you are driving, react immediately in the situation, and crash your car while still going 5 mph. If he's driving, find the right time, and stick your fingers in his eyes. He must watch the road, so choose an unsuspecting time, and gouge him. It is your ONLY defense. While he is in shock, GET OUT. This sounds gross, but the alternative is your fault (if you do not act.)
RESIST! Don't go along with him: run, if you are able: DON'T EVER GIVE UP! You DO NOT want to get to a crime scene.
Always keep your distance when walking past a strange person on the street or in dark areas.
GET A CELL PHONE.
There are packages for $19.95 a month that allow you to program only 911 into the dialing-out program. (This is an alternative for parents who think it is too expensive for their kids to have a cell phone.)
BREAK DOWNS: Make every effort to avoid this by ALWAYS keeping your car in good working order.
If your car breaks down LOCK YOUR DOORS. You better have a cell phone to call for help.
If you don't have a cell phone: (shame on you) keep a blanket, warm clothes, a pair of boots, and a flashlight in your car always, for emergencies.
If it's noon on a business day, you may want to put your hazards on and walk to safety.
If it's 2 a.m., put on your warm clothes and walk to a lighted area. You are a perfect target if you are sitting in your car when it's broken down. Predators search the highways for easy targets like you.
If you're on a desolate road: walk away from the car (in your warm clothes) and go to some bushes, or some area AWAY from your vehicles. It will be cold, and uncomfortable, but you DO NOT want to stay in your car, and there are no psycho bogeymen waiting in the bushes who knew you were going to break down there and then.
Physical defenses that we can use against the violent predator:
The EYES are the most vulnerable part of the body. Poke him there HARD. It may be your, only window of opportunity.
The neck is also a vulnerable spot, but you MUST know where to grip, AND HAVE THE STRENGTH to cut off his breath.
The next place is the KNEES. Everyone's knees are very vulnerable, and a swift kick here will take anyone down. A cautionary note about these things: If you do not do these things right the first time, you are in trouble, because it will only anger the individual, and that anger will be TAKEN OUT ON YOU. I'm not saying don't attempt them (it may be your only hope), but be forceful when you do.
If you are walking alone in the dark (which you shouldn't be) and you find a person following or chasing you:
Scream "FIRE!" and not "help". People don't want to get involved when people yell "help", but "fire" draws attention because people are nosy.
Find an obstacle, such as a parked car, and run around it, like Ring Around the Rosie. This may sound silly, but over the years, 5 women have told Pat Malone that this SAVED THEIR LIVES.
Your last hope is getting under the car. Once you are under there, there are tons of things to hold on to, and he will not be able to get you out and will not come under for you (most likely.) Usually they give up by this point. The catch here is that YOU MUST PRACTICE GETTING UNDER THE CAR. You must have a plan (he will have one); know if you will be going on your back, front, from the side or back of the car. It must be practiced.
Never let yourself or anyone that you know be a "closer" in any type of business (bar, store, restaurant, gas station). Pat knew Danielle, who was a girl that just died from being shot point-blank by some kids while she was closing at the local gas station. He talked with her the night before she died, and asked whether it ever scared her to close alone, she said yes, but said, "I'll be all right, Pat. I'll be all right." She wasn't. Our world is not as safe as we pretend that it is, and living in our fantasy worlds WILL get us in trouble, sooner or later.
Pat Malone said, again and again, that the women who die EVERY MINUTE from violent crimes expected to go to bed tonight, and get up tomorrow. No one expects it, but we must be prepared and be aware so that we HAVE A PLAN. BE PREPARED TO ACT! ACT HARD AND AGGRESSIVELY! HAVE A PLAN!
A couple of my own points added:
I learned from my children's karate classes that the elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do so!
If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
I encourage you to pass this on to all women, not just your friends and family, but everybody. We all need to hear it. --
Personal, and Identity Security*
The next time you order checks have only your initials (instead of first name) and last name put on them.
If someone takes your check book they will not know if you sign your checks with just your initials or your first name but your bank will know how you sign your checks.
When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT put the complete account number on the "For" line. Instead, just put the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check processing channels won't have access to it.
Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone. If you have a PO Box, use that instead of your home address. Never have your SS# printed on your checks! DUH! You can add it if it is necessary, but if you have it printed, anyone can get it.
Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine, do both sides of each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel.
Keep the photocopy in a safe place. I also carry a photocopy of my passport when I travel either here or abroad.
We've all heard horror stories about fraud that's committed on us in stealing a name, address, Social Security number, credit cards, etc.
Unfortunately, I, an attorney, have firsthand knowledge because my wallet was stolen last month. Within a week, the thieve(s) ordered an expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record information online, and more.
Here's some information to limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know:
We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. But the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them easily.
File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where it was stolen, this proves to credit providers you were diligent, and is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).
But here's what is perhaps most important: (I never even thought to do this):
Call the three
national credit reporting organizations immediately
to place a fraud alert on your name and Social Security
number. I had never heard of doing that until advised
There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert. Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet away this weekend (someone turned it in). It seems to have stopped them in their tracks. --
numbers are: Equifax: 1-800-525-6285
BE AWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME
walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get
inside. Then you lock all your doors, start the engine
and shift into REVERSE. Habit! You look into the rear-view
window to back out of your parking space and you notice
a piece of paper, some sort of advertisement stuck
to your rear window. So, you shift into PARK, unlock
your doors and jump out of your vehicle to remove
that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing
your view... when you reach the back of your car,
that is when the car-jackers jump out of
Lesson: Just drive away and remove the paper that is stuck to your window later ...
We pass along jokes on the Internet; we pass along just about everything. Pass this information along. It could really help someone you care about!
*Letters from members and friends.
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*Consultation with a health care professional should occur before applying adjustments or treatments to the body, consuming medications or nutritional supplements and before dieting, fasting or exercising. None of these activities are herein presented as substitutes for competent medical treatment.