I don't remember buying my first bra. I just know that
at some point around age 12 I started wearing one --
long before I "needed" to. There wasn't much
to support, as friends in my 8th grade dance class informed
me, joking that they could cut an apple on my chest.
It wasn't funny then, but I suppose I can laugh about
it now since I just bought my first cutting board and
I don't see much of a resemblance.
Scene from 'The Graduate'
Over the next 10 years, as I graduated from high school
and college, I also graduated from a kitchen accessory
to a solid A, while clasping a bra around my chest every
day in between.
Then, seven months ago, I had a brassiere epiphany.
After waiting just a little too long to do my laundry,
I ran out of bras. I could have forced myself to head
to the laundry room right then, or worn the less than
fresh Cosabella number I'd worn the day before, but
I realized the only visible difference for me between
wearing and not wearing a bra was a bulky bra line.
So I didn't wear one. Yes, I went braless.
Sure, my boobs had a bit more point to them than before,
but that's how they're made to look, right? Other than
that, nothing terrible happened. No chafing, no slips,
no perverted stares directed downwards. In fact, when
I confided in my friends that I was bra-free, they admitted
they couldn't tell. I suddenly thought, what if I could
be this free all the time?
It was as if I had finally opened my eyes. That was
that. Since then, it's just been me and my small boobs,
hanging out together. And I'm happy.
I wish everybody else could be happy like this too,
but today it seems we women are more insecure with our
size than ever. Today, large
breasts wield tremendous power, and the truth is
we -- women -- are partly to blame for supporting that
status quo.. This past year alone, 300,000 women put
themselves under the knife for breast augmentation surgery.
300,000 women felt that unhappy with their bodies. For
what? Certainly not for ourselves, as one major risk
of the surgery is losing the best thing your breasts
give you: sexual pleasure. To add insult to injury (literally),
last month the FDA issued
a new warning. Ladies, while the loss of sensation
may be lifelong, your silicone implants may not be.
According to a new report, at least one-in-five women
will need her implants removed due to serious health
complications. These are complications that far exceed
the perceived problems of having small(er) breasts:
Implant rupture, scar tissue hardening, breast wrinkling,
and in the most unfortunate and rare cases, anaplastic
large cell lymphoma. Let me repeat, removal due to these
complications isn't a one-in-a-million chance. It's
Do women not know the risks involved, or do we just
not care? I believe it's the former, not the latter,
because you know what else has a one in five risk? Smoking.
In the United States, one in five Americans die each
year due to tobacco use. The difference is that while
massive nationwide campaigns are shifting our impressions
of smoking towards taboo, breast implants haven't lost
their sex appeal ... yet.
So ladies, this is my appeal to you. Don't hold yourself
to ideals of epic proportions. Let's just all hang out,
woman on this planet who values herself as a
woman is great. She is a giver of life. And when you
are a giver of life, what more is there? Yogi
Human females are the only primates with large permanent breasts.
The sex appeal of plump breasts is unique to the human primate.