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Welcome to
FirstTeachersAreWomen.com

Women: The first teachers.








Our mission is to promote chardi kala around the world.
Our scope of service includes promoting diversity and cultural
competency
as taught by Guru Nanak Dev Ji, thereby bringing to
the fore issues of gender inequality for the purpose of uplifting women

who have a history of being marginalized, using social media and other
means as platforms to inform various communities of the life experiences
and concerns of marginalized people with regard to the necessity for social
change, dialogue, inclusion, compassion, tolerance, and cultural literacy,
and growth in our human relations going forward in order to better facilitate
the current worldwide shift in global consciousness from tribalism, instability,
and extremism, to harmony, cooperation and enduring peace. And furthermore,
we welcome and support other organizations that promote the transformation of
consciousness
as taught by Guru Nanak Dev Ji throughout his life and travels.

Our ultimate mission is to afford every woman in the community
the opportunities to explore the sensitivities of the human spirit to
wit each person is inspired to (a) teach and interact with people while
maintaining a keen appreciation for their longing for inclusion, the innate longing
to belong within our human nature; (b) respond with compassionate consideration
and sensitivity to those racial, cultural, religious, ethnic, economic, political, social,
ethical, psychological, and philosophical differences that exist within every community.

ToTheSweetestMom.com

A wise woman is never old. She is a place of worship. Yogi Bhajan

You are the first teacher. You are the first introduction. Can you deny it?
What a mother teaches a child in the womb cannot be learned on the Earth.
That's why I ask you, after 120 days, just to meditate. Soul has entered. Walk
and meditate, Charan Japa Kriya. (Meditation recommended for expectant parents.
Walk 3 miles together daily, chanting, ‘Wha Hay Guru,’ one step per syllable.) Yogi Bhajan

It is a simple idea that out of the woman comes the human generations. Whatever
her mind is, that will be imprinted on the child during pregnancy. Yogi Bhajan

By construction, the fulfillment of a woman is motherhood—and motherhood
does not mean that she gets pregnant and delivers a baby. If you understand
her total behavior, you will understand her motherhood. Her motherhood
is service, her motherhood is sacrifice, her motherhood is relationship.
When she knows motherhood, she is fulfilled. Yogi Bhajan

A woman who is not a leader is a miserable person… A leader has three things.
First thing, leader has to sacrifice; second thing, leader has to stand alone; and
third, leader has to lead. And leader has to lead by example, by action and by word.
A leader is one who can stand on the top of the ladder and can stay balanced and
alone. So basically, if you do not want to be the leaders, and you do not want to
lead the home, lead the family, lead your environments, with grace, with courage
and with intelligence, you will have nothing in your life... Yogi Bhajan

It is incumbent on those who know, to teach those who do not know. Hari Singh

POINTS TO PONDER

Give the needs of your mate priority. One parent
put it this way: 'A husband and wife are apt to be
successful parents when they put their marriage
first. Don't worry about the children getting second
best. Child-centered households produce neither
happy marriages nor happy children.' Ann Landers

I challenge you to recognize what the world scoffs at, that
your greatest role in your life will be that of wife and mother.
The greatest impact you could ever contribute to our world is a
loving investment in the lives of your precious children. To solve
the problems plaguing our society, we don't need more women
CEOs. We need more women as invested mothers. Peter Heck

All you have taught your children is, "Get 'A' grades and become
a great taker." You have never taught them to be Givers. Those
who are not Givers know nothing about God. Yogi Bhajan

Create dependable children, not dependent children.
Give your children the basic values to face their own
tomorrows, not be blinded by yours. Make them to be proper
personalities, not helpless puppets. Position them for success; don't
paralyze them with the commotion of your emotions.
Yogi Bhajan

When we give too many choices to our children, they become confused.
When they get older they can’t commit to anything, they lose their focus
and find it difficult to commit to anything for very long. Its really best
to start at an early age, being firm but fair. Hari Singh Khalsa

Children are born with intrinsic leadership traits, which prepare them for life.
These must translate positively into the lives they lead as citizens of the world.
The traits are: Service, Justice, Courage, Compassion, Decisiveness, Reliability,
Integrity, Initiative, Knowledge, Loyalty, Enthusiasm, Endurance. Hari Singh Khalsa

 

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR WOMEN TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN
According to Yogi Bhajan



.) Love them

.) Build their self-esteem

.) Challenge them

.) Listen to them

.) Expect respect from them

.) Limit them

.) Make God a part of their lives

.) Develop their love of learning

.) Help them to be community-minded

.) Let them go

See To The Sweetest Mom.

See I'm Doing Something GREAT!

See Women Are Much More Than This.

See KRI's Mother As The First Teacher.

See Yogi Bhajan's 'Mother, First Teacher' Lecture.

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF GOOD PARENTING
According to WebMD.com

What you do matters. "This is one of the most important principles," Steinberg tells WebMD. "What you do makes a difference. Your kids are watching you. Don't just react on the spur of the moment. Ask yourself, 'What do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that result?'"

You cannot be too loving. "It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love," he writes. "What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never the result of showing a child too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving a child things in place of love -- things like leniency, lowered expectations, or material possessions."

Be involved in your child's life. "Being an involved parent takes time and is hard work, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to do. Be there mentally as well as physically."

Being involved does not mean doing a child's homework -- or reading it over or correcting it. "Homework is a tool for teachers to know whether the child is learning or not," Steinberg tells WebMD. "If you do the homework, you're not letting the teacher know what the child is learning."

Adapt your parenting to fit your child. Keep pace with your child's development. Your child is growing up. Consider how age is affecting the child's behavior.

"The same drive for independence that is making your three-year-old say 'no' all the time is what's motivating them to be toilet trained," writes Steinberg. "The same intellectual growth spurt that is making your 13-year-old curious and inquisitive in the classroom also is making them argumentative at the dinner table."

For example: An eighth grader is easily distracted, irritable. Their grades in school are suffering. They are argumentative. Should parents push them more, or should they be understanding so their self-esteem doesn't suffer?

"With a 13-year-old, the problem could be a number of things," Steinberg says. "They may be depressed. They could be getting too little sleep. Are they staying up too late? It could be they simply need some help in structuring time to allow time for studying. They may have a learning problem. Pushing them to do better is not the answer. The problem may need to be diagnosed by a professional."

Establish and set rules. "If you don't manage your children's behavior when they are young, they will have a hard time learning how to manage themselves when they are older and you aren't around. Any time of the day or night, you should always be able to answer these three questions: Where is my child? Who is with my child? What is my child doing? The rules your children have learned from you are going to shape the rules they apply to themselves."

"But you can't micromanage your child," Steinberg tells WebMD. "Once they're in middle school, you need to let the child do their own homework, make their own choices, and not intervene."

Foster your child's independence. "Setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps them develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, they're going to need both."

It is normal for children to push for autonomy, says Steinberg. "Many parents mistakenly equate their child's independence with rebelliousness or disobedience. Children push for independence because it is part of human nature to want to be in control rather than to be controlled by someone else." (Children are born to leave the nest.)

Be consistent. "If your rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable fashion or if you enforce them only intermittently, your child's misbehavior is your fault, not his. Your most important disciplinary tool is consistency. Identify your non-negotiables. The more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will challenge it."

Avoid harsh discipline. Parents should never hit a child, under any circumstances. "Children who are spanked, hit, or slapped are more prone to fight with other children," he writes. "They are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others."

"There is a lot of evidence that spanking causes aggression in children, which can lead to relationship problems with other kids," Steinberg tells WebMD. "There are many other ways to discipline a child, including 'time out,' which work better and do not involve aggression."

Explain your rules and decisions. "Good parents have expectations they want their children to live up to," he writes. "Generally, parents overexplain to young children, and underexplain to adolescents. What is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-year-old. They don't have the priorities, judgment or experience that you have."

Example: A 6-year-old is very active and very smart -- but blurts out answers in class, doesn't give other kids a chance, and talks too much in class. The teacher needs to address this child's behavior problem. He/she needs to talk to the child about it, says Steinberg. "Parents might want to meet with the teacher and develop a joint strategy. The child needs to learn to give other children a chance to answer questions."

Treat your child with respect. "The best way to get respectful treatment from your children is to treat them respectfully," Steinberg writes. "You should give your children the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to them politely. Respect their opinion. Pay attention when they are speaking to you. Treat them kindly. Try to please them when you can. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your children is the foundation for their relationships with others."

For example, if your child is a picky eater: "I personally don't think parents should make a big deal about eating," Steinberg tells WebMD. "Children develop food preferences. They often go through them in stages. You don't want turn mealtimes into unpleasant occasions. Just don't make the mistake of substituting unhealthy foods. If you don't keep junk food in the house, they won't eat it." (See Sugar Is A Four Letter Word.)

Likewise, the checkout line tantrum can be avoided, says Natale. "Children respond very well to structure. You can't go shopping without preparing them for it. Tell them, 'We will be there 45 minutes. Mommy needs to buy this. Show them the list. If you don't prepare them, they will get bored, tired, upset by the crowds of people."

"Parents forget to consider the child, to respect the child," Natale tells WebMD. "You work on your relationships with other adults, your friendships, your marriage, dating. But what about your relationship with your child? If you have a good relationship, and you're really in tune with your child, that's what really matters. Then none of this will be an issue." See Life According To Mothers. --

FIVE PROVEN TECHNIQUES FOR DEALING WITH A DEFIANT CHILD

   
   "You can't make me!"
 Remove her/him        

This is the gold standard of defiance busting. When your child reaches the limit, simply swoop in and physically leave the store, take her out of the sandbox, end the playdate, and head home. There must be no hesitation on your part. Don't cajole, beg, or convince. Your child's banking on an emotional reaction from you -- if there isn't one, she gets no payoff. Explain your action in very clear language: "You didn't stop throwing sand when I told you to, so now I'm taking you out of the sandbox." This is bottom-line, no-nonsense discipline, and it works best when used with obviously egregious behaviors.

CREATE CONSEQUENCES

When the misbehavior isn't site-specific, or you can't just leave, or you're at home, you've got to find a threat that matters to your child. After all, one child's time-out is another child's excuse to daydream. Consequences tied to the misbehavior are best: "The longer you delay going to bed, the fewer stories I'll have time to read you." The lesson that Mom doesn't forget bad behavior can also pack a wallop. Try this: When your child acts out at a party, tell her she'll have to miss the next one -- and photograph her misbehaving. When the next invite comes, bring out the picture to remind her of why she won't be going.


Empathy

Currently in vogue is the notion of letting the child know that you understand how she feels. "I know how frustrated you are. I wish we could stay at the park all day, too, but..." This is a good choice when you suspect something besides outright defiance is causing the problem. Next time your child has a meltdown at the five-and-dime, ask yourself: Has she missed a nap? Has she eaten lunch? Is there a new baby brother at home getting all the attention? Sometimes all that's needed is a little extra loving from Mom.


Count down

"I want you in here by the time I count to five!" This tells your child that you're done asking and his time is nigh. It's an effective method if you're prepared to follow through (and have done so in the past). It's when you reach the magic number and then continue to plead that you've lost the battle. You've got to show your kids you mean business, every time -- whether it's picking them up and carrying them to the car or putting them into bed fully clothed. Some parents swear by counting backward: Zero is more final than five, which is so tempting to stretch into siiiiixxxxxx or even sevvvvvennn.


Do nothing

Unfortunately, hunger and exhaustion (or, worse, both) can render your child immune to any discipline technique. What do you do then? Sometimes, not a thing. One mom was stuck in traffic when her 3-year-old demanded a lollipop to top off his snow cone. He hadn't slept well the night before, and it was a sweltering 100-degree day. Mom said no, and it sent him over the edge. She realized the best she could do was stay calm and get home safely. Once there, she plopped her thrashing, shrieking child in the time-out chair. Within minutes, her little monster had fallen sound asleep where he sat. Sometimes, it seems, kids deal with their defiance all by themselves.

TWELVE DO'S AND DON'T'S TO SAY TO YOUR CHILD

FIVE DO'S

.) "Please" and "Thank you." Politeness starts at the top. Not only will you model good manners for your child, but when you're mad, saying "please" can help you feel more in control of your emotions.

.) "The rule is..." A good way to avoid many conflicts -- or at least nip them in the bud: Make your expectations clear. Kids need to know what the rules are. And remind them as often as necessary.

.) "I forgive you." When your child trips up and then makes amends, let him know right away that it's over and forgotten.

.) "I'm sorry." While you shouldn't apologize for being the person in charge and therefore being the one making the rules ("I'm sorry -- it's your bedtime"), empathy has its place. Use it when you make a mistake: "I was late getting to the ball game, and I missed seeing you score. That's disappointing. I'm sorry."

.) "I love you." Express this not just in words but through your actions too. Giving a high five or thumbs-up or tousling your child's hair can let him know that you love and value him -- no matter what happened an hour before.


         

SEVEN DON'T'S

.) "Hurry up!"
There's a tendency to make kids feel guilty for causing us to rush. The guilt may make him feel bad, but it won't get him moving faster.

.) "Great job!"
What could be wrong with praise? Tossing out a compliment for every task becomes meaningless. Save it for accomplishments that require real effort, such as:

a.) Praise only those accomplishments that require real effort. Finishing a glass of milk doesn't cut it. Neither does drawing a picture, if your child is the kind who makes dozens of them every day.

b.) Be specific. Instead of "Beautiful job," say, "What bright, happy colors you picked for the dog's spots." Or "I see you drew a picture of the story that we read this morning."

c.) Praise the behavior rather than the child: "You were so quiet with your puzzle while I was finishing that paperwork, just like I asked."

.) "I'll give you something to cry about!"
Threats rarely get results. It's more effective to use constructive tactics, such as redirection or time-outs.

.) "Leave me alone!"
When you routinely say that you're too busy, kids internalize the message. Give them some parameters: "When I'm done, then we'll play."

.) "Don't cry!"
Rather than deny your child's feelings, talk about her emotions. Give your child the words to express herself, and ultimately she'll cry less.

.) "Wait till Daddy gets home!"
Passing the buck undermines your authority. And by the time he does get home, it's likely that your child will forget what he did wrong.

.) "You're so..."
Even labels that seem positive, like "smart," shortchange kids' developing personalities. Talk about their specific behaviors, not traits. --

Children

Children Learn What They Live


Any woman on this planet who values herself as a
woman is great. She is a giver of life. And when you
are a giver of life, what more is there?  Yogi Bhajan


"I'm doing something great!"

A New Perspective For Moms from Elevation Church on Vimeo.

 

 



Women's Pages And Points To Ponder

See Turban Is Bana. See DualityOptics.com. See The Essence of Kaur. See The Turban Is A Bigot Detector. See BroadPoints.com. See But Where Are The Women? See The Role And Status of Sikh Women. See U.S. Sikhs Want Women To Sing At Golden Temple. See Bibi Kiranjot Kaur On Women's Rights. See A Muslim Woman Teaches Kirtan. See Women Are Not Allowed To Play Kirtan. See Sikhism And Homosexuality. See Why Do You Not See Any Sikh Women? See Sikh Identity Is For Men Only. See When Will Sikh Men Stand Up. See Sikh Women's Issues. See Women And The Sikh Religion. See My Response To The Sikh Minister Survey. See How To Make Yoga Classes LGBT Friendly. See Punjabi Sikh Optics Do Matter. See What's With Sikhs And Gender Equality? See Circumstance. See The Woman Pope. See Women Are Much More Than This. See The Question of Authority Within Sikhism. See Should Mixed Faith Marriage In Sikh Temples Be Banned? See Balvinder Kaur Saund. See Maharani Jind Kaur: Saint Soldier. See Sudha Kaur Chopra On Gurdwara Security. See Why Don't Sikh Women Tie Turban? See Life According To Hari Nam Kaur. See I Fight Like A Girl. See Dastaar For Sikh Women. See The Turban Is A Crown. See The Essence of Kaur. See Life According To Joan Baez. See Menstruation From A Woman's Perspective. See Granny Stops Burglar. See Life According To Andrea Mitchell. See 'Sikh' And Ye Shall Find. See The Story Behind My Turban. See We Are We, We Are One. See SikhsShine.com. See Women Wimps Or Warriors. See Women Warriors. See Jai Jagdeesh Kaur's Ad Guray Nameh. See Refuse To Be A Victim Seminar. See Amazon Women. See How The Marines Transform Me Into We. See Memories of Khalsa Women's Rifle Drill Team.

      


Women Against The Menstruation Taboo

Parental Pointers For The Year 2014

Divine Shield Meditation for Women

Reasons Not To Mess With A Child

Women Are Much More Than This

Life According To Joanna Palani

Women: Wimps or Warriors

And Here's Andrea Mitchell

Is Your Kid Spoiled Rotten

ToTheSweetestMom.com

The 12 Signs of Kali Yuga

For Kids With A Lazy Eye

Meditation For Parents

The Way Kids See It

Boys Will Be Boys

The Wonder of Life

A Race of Women

For Women Only

The Indigo Child

Yoga For Kids

You are IT

          

       

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