1. A bicycle can't stand alone: It's two tired.
2. A will: Is a dead giveaway.
3. Time Flies like an arrow; Fruit Flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. A chicken crossing the road: Poultry in motion.
6. When a clock is hungry: It goes back four seconds.
7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine: Was fully recovered.
8. You are stuck with your debt: If you can't budge it.
9. He broke into song: Because he couldn't find the key.
10. A calendar's days: Are numbered.
11. A boiled egg: Is Hard to beat.
12. He had a photographic memory: Which was never developed.
13. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison: A small medium at large.
14. Those who get too big for their britches: Will be exposed in the end.
15. When you've seen one shopping centre: You've seen a-mall.
16. If you jump off a Paris bridge: You are in Seine.
17. When she saw her first strands of grey hair: She thought she'd dye.
18. Santa's helpers are: Subordinate clauses.
19. Acupuncture: A jab well done.
20. Marathon runners with bad shoes: Suffer the agony of de-feet.
21. The roundest Knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference: He acquired his size from too much pi.
22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island: But it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
23. She was only a whisky maker: But he loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class:
Because it was a weapon
25. No matter how much you push the envelope: It'll still be stationery.
26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road: And was cited for littering.
27. Two silk worms had a race: They ended up in a tie.
28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall: The police are looking into it.
29. Atheism: Is a non-prophet organization.
30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger: Then it hit me.
31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was: A nurse said, 'No change yet."
See Patriotic Photos.
More Web sites by