We've heard the 'Woman Rules' for making a woman happy.
Finally in fairness, here are the Man Rules from the other side.

GENERAL RULES
By a Marine Vet

Note: Rules are numbered "1" purposely.

First and foremost, men are NOT mind readers.

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a mature woman. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Sunday sports ... It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. LET IT BE.

Crying about stuff you want is tantamount to blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! JUST SAY IT!

'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. THAT'S WHAT WE DO! Sympathy is what your girlfriends are there for.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in any argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven (7) days.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask for our opinion.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, do it yourself.

Whenever possible, say whatever you have to say during the commercials.

Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

Men see things in 16 colors only, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. And we have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. YOU CAN COUNT ON IT.

If we ask, "what is wrong," and you say, "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the time and hassle.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine ... honestly.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, basketball, football or golf ... and not necessarily in that order.

You already have too many clothes.

You have too many pairs of shoes.

You have too many purses.

We ARE in shape. Round IS a shape!

Yeah, yeah, we know! We have to sleep on the couch tonight. But just so ya know, we really don't mind? It's like camping out! See MasculineMoments.com.

Semper Fi ... Oorah!