"A woman is sixteen times more effectively intelligent and
more sensitive than a man, and she can handle all walks of
intelligence better than any man. Man is given the physical, and
woman is given the intelligence to balance it out." -- Yogi Bhajan

Ever Wondered?
How a woman's brain works.

Well, it's finally explained here,
in one easy-to-understand flow chart.
Every little blue ball is a thought about
something that needs to be done, a decision to
be made, or a problem that needs solving... NOW!

 



EVER WONDERED?
How to make a woman happy.

Woman Rules
   A man has to be ...

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer and massage therapist
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO ...

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other women

AND AT THE SAME TIME, HE MUST ALSO ...

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little in return
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never concerned about where she goes

AND IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ...

54. NEVER, EVER FORGET
birthdays
anniversaries
arrangements and appointments she makes
and ... to put the toilet seat down

EVER WONDERED...
How to make a man happy?

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

Let's face it.
Men are just happier people by their nature.

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just 'too icky'. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Graying hair adds attraction. A wedding dress for her, $5000, as opposed to a Tux rental for him for $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks and air conditioning.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes, and one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife and you don't need an appointment. One stainless steel wrist watch, and maybe one ring for all occasions. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24, in 25 minutes. See Man Rules.

Is it any wonder men are happier?


"Fixed the AC myself for a whole lot less."
 

'TAILS' OF DUMB BLONDES

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away ... Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Well, Helloooooo! Can you SEE Florida?"

BLONDE CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

BLONDE SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

BLONDE RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

BLONDE AT DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead went into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

BLONDE KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE IN 'PARK'

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.

                       

She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.

I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, 'Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!'

                      

The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young lady, gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in Park?"

BLONDE ON THE SUN

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

BLONDE VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science and Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

BLONDE JOKES TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs. She asked her what their names are. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"Well, dah!" answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!" ---

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The
very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, 'How
should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.

The husband said, 'Who was that?'

The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast
is clear.'
---

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'

The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'

So, the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!' ---

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!'

The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!' ---

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, I know 'em all.

Her friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?' The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy. It's W.' ---

Question: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

Answer: 'Is it mine?' ---

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her U.S. Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware.' ---

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!' ---

Then there's this.

A spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'

'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval, and;

As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

IT GETS BETTER!

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem, and;

As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won. --

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when Steven, a tall, exceptionally handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

This seasoned yet playful heartthrob noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As any man would.) Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00... on one condition..."

Flabbergasted but intrigued, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply and passionately into his eyes, barely concealing her anticipation and excitement, and slowly and meaningfully said... "Clean my house."

NEVER ARGUE WITH A WOMAN

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't It obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think. --

      

SAAAP.org Dieterata.com
HariBird.com HariSingh.com
SopaRice.com SikhSongs.com
SopaSeca.com WaheGuru.guru
UbuntuAge.com NarayanOil.com
LeftOfMaya.com SikhsShine.com
LivtarSingh.com
3HOHistory.com
SikhAnthem.com WhaHeGuru.com
BroadPoints.com IsolatedSeer.com
EkOngKar13.com 13EkOngKar.com
Obama43To1.com ChardeeKala.com
HariKaurBird.com SoothingSpa.com
OpticalViews.com 2020ForEyes.com
KhalsaVision.com DalpremKaur.com
GuruRamDas.com SPIRITofGRD.com
MahanTantric.com 2020ForSight.com
DualityOptics.com LakeKillarney.com
MySikhSense.com
HariSinghBird.com
BigotDetector.com
RamDasSingh.com
3DDispensing.com
SikhDharma13.com
Interior-Guard.com BeYourAllness.com
OpticalCourse.com LandOfAwwws.com
MiriPiriWarrior.com SatKartarSingh.com
SatNamMeans.com DrRamonIbarra.com
KaliYugaSigns.com HariKaurKhalsa.com
SiriSinghSahib.com 1Plus1Equals11.com
CloseOrderDrill.com WordPhysiology.com
1And1Equals11.com OpticianryToday.com
RamDhanSingh.com JustAddedWater.com
2020ForWomen.com EyewearMoodys.com
HangupsByHari.com HariSinghKhalsa.com
DownWithCarbs.com
PreetKaurKhalsa.com
ACTForDiversity.com WhiteTantraYoga.com
AdiShaktiMantra.com 3HOLegacyLinks.com
ScienceOfMudra.com WirelessAndFree.com
OneIsTheAnswer.com TheMahanTantric.com
ScienceOfMantra.com WhoAreTheSikhs.com
OohRahMemorial.com OpticianryReview.com
WeProcessLoans.com
2020ForOpticians.com
AkalCommittee13.com OpticalGuidelines.com
GurdwaraSecurity.com GuruGobindSingh.com
DiversityDialogues.org OpticalWorkshops.com
AmarSinghKhalsa.com KirpalSinghKhalsa.com
SensitivitySummit.com SimranKaurKhalsa.com
SurvivalCampUSA.com SatpalSinghKhalsa.com
AwtarSinghKhalsa.com SadhanaGuidelines.com
KhalsaWebMasters.com YouAreTheEssence.com
MasculineMoments.com KundaliniYogapedia.com
DegTeghFatehYatra.com StFrancisOfficePark.com
ToTheSweetestWife.com ToTheSweetestMom.com
HairInLaysTheTruth.com YogiBhajansTeacher.com
EachMomentIsAGift.com OpticalShiftHappens.com
SikhAndYeShallFind.com MyInterviewWithGod.com
OpticiansForChange.com AllForOneWonForAll.com
HappinessIsTheRule.com DrinkingDrivingDead.com
AtTheFeetOfTheYogi.com SaTaNaMaMeditation.com
SameDayCounseling.com ToServeIsToSucceed.com
SiriGuruGranthSahib.com ServingVersusSelling.com
KeepEyesOnThePies.com SukhmaniKaurKhalsa.com
UniversityOfDiversity.com
LakesideManorOnline.com
RaMaDaSaMeditation.com DispensingGuidelines.com
SiriGuruGranthSahib.guru
EyeWearProfessionals.com
ForThePeopleOfColor.com SecurityAdvisoryTeam.com
SikhWomenTieTurban.com ReligionDemographics.com
YogiTeaByYogiBhajan.com TimeForCraftsmanship.com
CourageousDialogues.com AkalCommitteeThirteen.com
SatKriyaByYogiBhajan.com FirstSikhOfSikhDharma.com
IfYouKnowWhoYouAre.com HealthEqualsHappiness.com
EyeExaminationOnline.com GoodGuysWearTurbans.com
GlassesOnlineWarning.com AquarianAgeBeganHere.com
IDoNotEatDeadAnimals.com FirstTeachersAreWomen.com
MoreThanYouCanKnow.com SugarIsAFourLetterWord.com
OpticiansForThePeople.com SikhWomenWearTurbans.com
OnsiteFamilyHealthcare.com WomenWimpsOrWarriors.com
SantSipahiAdvisoryTeam.com CosmicCyclesAndCircles.com
KirtanKriyaByYogiBhajan.com TheAfterDeathExperience.com
SatHanumanSinghKhalsa.com IAmABornAgainAmerican.com
TextingAndDrivingIsCrazy.com OneAndOneEqualsEleven.com
TheReverseMortgageLady.com TestYourKnowledgeOnline.com
WordsOfWisdomAndHumor.com NowYouKnowThatYouKnow.com
CrucifixionByAnEyewitness.com LifeAccordingToYogiBhajan.com
GodAndMeMeAndGodAreOne.com KundaliniYogaByYogiBhajan.com
ReachOutAndTouchSomebody.com IfYourDadDoesntHaveABeard.com
TheTechnologyOfConsciousness.com EkOngKarSatNamSiriWhaHeGuru.com
ConsciousCommunicationGuidelines.com OneIsTheAnswerWhatIsTheQuestion.com

   ®
Khalsa

WebMasters.com
© All rights reserved
.