woman is sixteen times more effectively intelligent and
Well, it's finally explained here,
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO ...
give her compliments regularly
AND AT THE SAME TIME, HE MUST ALSO ...
give her lots of attention, but expect little in return
AND IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ...
NEVER, EVER FORGET
Show up naked
do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays
put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can
never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you
blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking,
and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think
is farther away ... Florida or the moon?"
BLONDE CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells
the mechanic it died.
BLONDE SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks
her very nicely if he could see her license.
BLONDE RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river
and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!"
she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
BLONDE AT DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead went into the doctor's office
and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on
the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to
see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
BLONDE IN 'PARK'
I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.
She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.
I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, 'Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!'
The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young lady, gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in Park?"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was
her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science
and Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum
and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
BLONDE JOKES TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired
two new dogs. She asked her what their names are. The
blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and
one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard
of someone naming dogs like that?"
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The
The husband said, 'Who was that?'
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'
The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'
So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!' ---
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!' ---
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, I know 'em all.
Her friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?' The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy. It's W.' ---
Question: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
Answer: 'Is it mine?' ---
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her U.S. Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware.' ---
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!' ---
Then there's this.
spanish teacher was explaining to her class that
in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated
as either masculine or feminine.
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when Steven, a tall, exceptionally handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.
NEVER ARGUE WITH A WOMAN
One morning, the husband returns the boat to their
lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing
and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar
with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat
out. She motors out a short distance, anchors,
puts her feet up, and begins to read her book.
The peace and solitude are magnificent.
A men's room designed by men.
Men's t-shirt designed by women.