"A
woman is sixteen times more effectively intelligent and
more sensitive than a man, and she can handle all walks of
intelligence better than any man. Man is given the physical, and
woman is given the intelligence to balance it out." -- Yogi Bhajan
Ever
Wondered? How a woman's brain works.
Well, it's finally explained here,
in one easy-to-understand
flow chart.
Every
little blue ball is a thought about
something that needs to be done, a decision to
be made, or a problem that needs solving... NOW!
EVER
WONDERED? How to make a woman happy.
Woman
Rules
A man has to be ...
1.
a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer and massage therapist
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT
FORGETTING TO ...
45.
give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other women
AND
AT THE SAME TIME, HE MUST ALSO ...
51.
give her lots of attention, but expect little in return
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never concerned about where she goes
AND
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ...
54.
NEVER, EVER FORGET birthdays anniversaries arrangements
and appointments she makes and
... to put the toilet seat down
EVER
WONDERED... How to make a man happy?
1.
Show up naked
2. Bring food
Let's
face it.
Men are just happier people by their nature.
What
do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays
put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can
never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you
the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas
station restroom because this one is just 'too icky'. You don't
have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same
work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Graying hair adds attraction.
A wedding dress for her, $5000, as opposed to a Tux rental for
him for $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking
to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all
the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You
know stuff about tanks and air conditioning.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all
your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your
friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs
of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in
public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle
lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face
and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually
hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes, and one
color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your
legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife
and you don't need an appointment. One stainless steel wrist watch,
and maybe one ring for all occasions. You have freedom of choice
concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for
25 relatives on December 24, in 25 minutes. See Man
Rules.
birthdays
