The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
Cumference. He acquired his size from too much lunch. Though
his wife reports 'twas his EYE FOR PI!
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but
it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class,
because it was a weapon of math disruption.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then
it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep
off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a
hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he
was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was
a small medium at large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is
now a seasoned veteran.
21. A backward poet writes inverse.
22. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism
it's your count that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste for
24. Don't join dangerous cults. Practice safe sects!
then there's this.
of people say, 'Oh, shit!' before sliding into a ditch on
an ice-slick road. The other 2% are like Bubba. They say,
'Hold my beer, and watch this!'
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